Life Continues

It's been a long time since my last blog. I've got a new goal to try to blog once a week--let's see how I do.

During this month, I've planted a garden, taught school, written more of my book, and watched my brother's kittens grow and become more than just balls of fluff that eat and sleep. I've been down on myself a lot this month--I'm not making a difference in people's lives, I'm not dazzlingly beautiful, I'm not dating anybody, I have to commute more than an hour to work, I can't run more than half a mile before I have to stop. But I don't like being a complaining person.

So I'm going to change.

So what that I can't run that far? I want to run in a 5k. I'm going to run as far as I can every day and walk the rest of those three-point-something miles. Eventually, I'll get to 5 kilometers running. So what that I'm not dating anybody--that's partially a hazard of my job--not many single guys in Elementary Education--but I can socialize with members of my church and get to know them better. So what that I'm not a supermodel? I can take care of my body and be more beautiful than I think I am. So what that I have to commute to work? I'm going to apply for jobs closer to home--as soon as I get those stinkin' letters of recommendation--and, hopefully, I'll get a job. If not, I should be happy that I have a job in a good school.

And do I really not make a difference in people's lives? Maybe it's because I can't see that difference that I feel that way. But I can also serve others more frequently, care for them, be there for them.

So here's my thoughts: life continues whether you want it or not. You can complain about it, or you can live it. I want to live it.

Good Friday

Nearly two thousand years ago, the Son of God was crucified for the sins of the world. I often focus too much on the resurrection of Christ, without thinking on the Atonement, the great sacrifice of our Savior that culminated in the resurrection.

Let us remember today, as well as on Easter, the sacrifice which Christ our Savior made for us. Let us remember the words of Isaiah when he prophesied of the Messiah:

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:4-5, italics added)

The following is a very touching video about the Atonement of Christ and the suffering He went through for us.

Spring Break

I just want to say right now...kudos to the person who thought to put Spring Break over April Fool's Day at my school. You have saved several teachers prank pain.

It is amazing how much time you can waste when you don't have anything planned. My first few days of Spring Break were jam-packed. My mother and I went to Zion's National Park over the weekend. It was beautiful. The sun was shining, it was just the right temperature, and spring was in full swing. The cherry trees in Hurricane were in blossom, as were the pear trees, and a hazy green mist was over all the trees in the park. It felt so good to get out in the fresh air, to feel the warmth of the sun on my face. We stayed at my grandparent's winter home in Washington (not state or D.C.), and my grandpa wanted me to put sunblock on and wear a hat. I didn't want any of it! The hat came off as soon as I got in the car, and I never did put sunscreen on. I didn't burn--we were mostly walking in the shadows of the mountains--but I like to pretend my skin got the slightest bit darker.

Now that I'm back, I have half a week left of vacation, and I have no idea what to do. I've read two books, watched t.v., typed up pre-written parts of my story, and written nearly two more chapters. Thankfully, I've got a great older brother who is willing to let me come to his messy home. Brandon let me play with his cat Aizeley (I think that's how it's spelled) and his dog Zuko (the biggest, most friendly dog ever) and tell him all about my book ideas while he did the dishes. I offered to help, but--as Brandon pointed out--it is a small kitchen. And, if you know Brandon, you know he is a huge giant of a teddy bear. But I enjoy his company, and I'm glad he enjoys mine.

First-Time Blogger

So...this is my first time blogging. Ever. Weird, huh? I feel strange that somebody out there will read my words, probably someone I don't know. I don't even quite know why I'm doing this. I don't know if I'll be able to keep it up, if I will become hopelessly addicted, or if I will ever make anything worthwhile from this blog. All I know is...this is my first time blogging.

So, who am I? I'm a young woman looking at the beginning of the rest of my life. I teach fifth grade--this is my first year--and I'm already wondering if this was a good choice for me. When I was little, I wanted to be so many things. A veterinarian (I love animals), a firefighter (briefly), a nurse (a little), a paleontologist (a lot), an archaeologist (go Indiana Jones!). I never really saw myself as a teacher. And my biggest dream ever, which I still hold up on a pedestal: to be a writer. Oh, to write! So much joy comes to me through writing. If I go too long without writing, I start falling into a deep hole of depression. Sure, that starts to happen if I don't do other things too, like be around people, read my scriptures, eat healthy, get plenty of sunshine, etc. But writing is so much more. It fills me, makes me happy, makes me seem more than I am. Perhaps it's all an illusion, this happiness, this sense of fulfillment. But maybe not.

Which comes to the title of my blog: Heart's Magic. It's the title of an idea I have for a book. I haven't written it yet. I don't know if it will ever be published. But I chose it for my book and my blog because of something I believe: it doesn't matter who you are, what you're like. We all have a bit of magic inside us. We all have strength, courage, honor, grace. When we listen to our heart and draw on those good virtues, we can help those around us. We can be magical to them. We can succeed.